Almost Blue

Almost doing things we used to do

There’s a girl here, and she’s almost you
All the things your eyes promised
I almost see them in hers too

Too self absorbed,
And almost blue
so very drunk,
too tired to move

Too bored of you
And over used
We’re almost there,
we never moved

We’re dancing underneath the moon
An almost-perfect way to move
She’s quick on her feet,
She’s fast to prove
That she is more than ‘almost you’

Too low too jump for higher things
I’m almost done with this, I think
You almost call, I almost speak
We almost always come to this.

A new girl now
It’s almost bliss
An almost love, a kind of thing
I’m not too sure, I know I miss
Her when she’s gone,
She always is

Too blind to see what’s always there
She almost travelled here, i swear
With all her dreams, and almost-stare
I could fall for her,
I’m almost there

Poetry for fun

Does my poetry excite you

Do my words hang from your lips
Should I find another past time,

One that doesn’t make you sick
At times, I know I have a way with words

I get that all the time
I know it’s simple but it’s working

Just four more verses left to find
I’ll write a poem to remind you

Of the way we fell in love
I’ll write a poem just to tell you

How you sparkle in the sun
I’ll write another verse to keep you with me

The next time I fuck up
And you should know that I don’t love you

I just write poetry for fun

Lost boy

Four minutes past three

Is the perfect time to to lie with me

Tell me all your dreams and all

The friends that you had hoped to keep

Eight minutes past four

And you’re awake again

Spreading all the photos of your

Past life 

out across the bed

Seven a.m exact

And you’ve decided you will face the facts

That maybe all the things you want

In life are never coming back

But whatever time of day or night 

The sight of you fresh in my mind

It’s 9am, you rest your eyes

I whisper, “we’re not lost, you’re mine”.

Anybody Else But You

​I remember when you were here with me

You’d trace the lines of your name into my skin
And even now I can hear your breathing
And even now I can hear you say

“I don’t see what anyone can see, in anybody else”
And when I asked if we’d burn
You said, you’d dance on the flames
But a year has passed, and I’m always the last
To say I’m sorry
And im still trying to find you, in somebody else

I remember when you said we were the greatest
And 6 years of friendship, led us to now
One drunken text, and one bitter ex
Can we say it was worth it?
Now I have to tell all our friends, it just wasn’t right

“I don’t see what anyone can see, in anybody else”
And when I asked if we’d burn
You said, you’d dance on the flames
But a year has passed, and I’m always the last
To say I’m sorry
And im still trying to find you, in somebody else

I still remember the day, you told me you loved me
I believed it then, and somehow, I still know it now
Even when your back is turned, and the rain is pouring
I’d still find my way, just to hear you say

“I don’t see what anyone can see, in anybody else”
And when I asked if we’d burn
You said, you’d dance on the flames
But a year has passed, and I’m always the last
To say I’m sorry
And im still trying to find you, in somebody else

Your song, after all

​It’s around this time

You realise
You’re not really okay

And nightmares that shake you
Are having their way

Everyone around you is safe in their dreams
But you’re kept up by demons that won’t let you sleep

Your thoughts are in tangles
Your mind is a mess
You find yourself scattered
All over the place

Now you lie awake
Wishing you spent the night counting stars
Instead of counting all of the problems
You’ve encountered so far

But somewhere in the darkness
You have to find light
Something at all
Just to fill in the blanks

Your thoughts are in tangles
Your mind is a mess
And you can’t see through
The bitterness, that is left

Outdated and outgrown,
You can’t help yourself
From feeling the whole world
Weighing down on your chest

And it may not be easy,
 you may not have much
The only thing left
Is old friends and mistrust

But somebody will guide you,
Somebody will see
All the light left inside you,
I just hope that it’s me.

Silent Nights

The more you know, the less you learn
What goes unsaid, doesn’t go unheard
I’ll tell this story all my life
Of the one that just didn’t work out right

And it’s a shame, you know that too
But darlin, there’s just no helping you
I’ll tell this story for the rest of time
Of all the time I wasted, thinking we’d be fine

We’d always talk of moving away
And finding our own happy little place
Somewhere away from all the lights
Somewhere we could soak in all the silent nights

But maybe you’re just too close to me
It’s becoming harder to even breathe
You’re bad for my head and heart
And they both tell me that it’s time we fell apart

I used to love your dreamy eyes
But now I can’t even draw them right
I keep mixing all the colours wrong,
The more I love, the more I’m losing touch

The home in my bones.

Each wants to give me something, and each wants to take. One of you has been there years, while the other a mere few months. But in those months, Steph, you’ve struck a nerve in me. You left echos in my halls and run your fingertips over every brick that I am built up of. You have lay carpets and hung lights, and you have made my misery your home.
While you, Lauren. You’ve been home here for years. You’ve mapped each corridor, each stair case, each room and each door. You’ve met the ghosts that roam around, you’ve met the monsters under each bed and in each cupboard. You’ve boarded up each broken window.
You cannot both live here. The other complains to much, and either way around. You have not yet crossed paths, but you have seen the others footprints and seen each others shadows.
You have both impacted my life, and my friends would think it crazy that I find it hard to choose. The choice is obvious right? She’s been here years. But it’s not obvious. She smells so familiar that she is becoming a part of the furniture. The other, she lit all the old fires and started warming me from the inside out. She read books to me without knowing if I was even listening. She read each word I wrote and cherished it, as if I were her favourite author, and I was her favourite book.
Lauren, you sang me to sleep when my floorboards were creaking and the doors were rattling. You comforted me through each storm and protected me from each break in.
You both scream my name at night, you both haunt my dreams.
I do not know which of you I love the most, and I do not know which path to choose.
I know I must, but I already have too many ghosts roaming around, in the home I made out of matchsticks, the home I built for you both,
in my bones.

I tried not to think of you
But the silence is a killer too

In my dreams I will always
find my way back to you

I keep finding you in all
the songs I used to love

And I would bite my tongue
But it says your name far too much.

I often think about you
And I think of where you’ve been
All the happy little places,
Happy faces that you’ve seen

I always hoped you’d find it
Your own pretty song to sing
I find it quite a shame,
That verse should have been for me

But enough with what my mind does,
Enough with my own dreams
I find them all too crowded,
But there is nowhere else to sleep

At last, here comes the reason
I have stayed sane this whole time,
And at last, here comes my reason,
Its been missing this whole time.

I love you in a language
Neither of us really understand
I’m still wasting my time trying to find
your fingerprints in someone else’s hands

I have lost control over everything
Even the voices in my head
That are telling me to love you
When I should be leaving you instead

I don’t know what I’m more scared of
But neither sits right in my head.
I don’t know if I’m more afraid of seeing you,
Or never seeing you again